Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to The Captain’s Log where I talk about whatever the fuck I want because this is The Captain’s Log and I… am the motherfucking Captain.

Today I am doing a quick roundup of Star Wars Week but I also want to talk about Bioware’s The Old Republic (SWTOR in places) and “The Rule of Two”. I’ll explain this term later on.

I’ve had a lot of fun making/reading the Star Wars content that we’ve put up over the past week even Reyce’s guilty gaming. Reyce you absolute, fucking lunatic! Content you can find here, here, here and here. Oh I almost forgot, BAM the best one yet! Star Wars Battlefront 2’s existence is quite possibly the only reason I will defend the prequels’ existence. Yeah the movies are pants but the legacy of the 501st lives on…(insert chorus from Iron Maiden’s ‘Evil that Men Do’).


Out of the shit diamonds that are those movies we got something great, a shooter with an exceptional story campaign. Let me quote you a little sum’n sum’n from the game:

What I remember about the rise of the Empire is… is how quiet it was. During the waning hours of the Clone Wars, the 501st Legion was discreetly transferred back to Coruscant. It was a silent trip. We all knew what was about to happen, what we were about to do. Did we have any doubts? Any private, traitorous thoughts? Perhaps, but no one said a word. Not on the flight to Coruscant, not when Order 66 came down, and not when we marched into the Jedi Temple. Not a word.


Being exposed to such radness I went and picked up the Darth Bane audiobooks as they were highly recommended by loads of people. In the words of Mr. Reynholm: STANDARD NEERDS! The books are basically a telling of how a miner ends up as part of the Dark Brotherhood (Sith/evil booboo, bad guys) and during his training in the Dark Side of the Force he realises the whole Brotherhood sucks balls. I mean in the sense that they have forgotten what makes Sith powerful and what makes them weak. I shall extrapolate on this further down.


I do recommend either picking up the books or the audiobooks, or even both. The audiobooks have sound effects and musical scores to accompany narrator Jonathan Davis, who is a pure wordsmith of buttery voiceness! Okay? Okay.


I’ve noticed a lot of people talking about the movies and saying that the Jedi’s “quest” to rid the galaxy of the Sith is quite frankly disturbing. Jedi believe that the Force is out of balance because the Sith are still alive somewhere and the fact that there’s only two guys that fit that bill seems to sit wrong with fans. Why are the Jedi so obsessed with these guys? How can two people be a threat? Sure, there’s only two of them and hundreds of Jedis from Padawans to Masters. If they came face to face with the Sith surely they can take them out. True but the Sith don’t behave like that. They use cunning, treachery, they bend the truth and work in the shadows because that is where they are most effective. It’s how they eventually overthrow the Republic and build the Sith Empire from its ashes. All thanks to the brave soldiers of the 501st with their blazing new ships and shining new armour. From the more expanded universe (the correct one, not the new one) we know that the past Sith and Jedi had power in spades over the current Sith/Jedi. Today’s force users are effectively just kids hitting each other with sticks.


The Sith and Jedi follows these basic principles:

  1. Jedi are more powerful in numbers. All working towards the greater good and it is through unity and numbers that their powers grow.
  2. Sith are the opposite. The Dark Side of the Force is more powerful when there are less Sith as the Dark Side is more concentrated in one being rather than numerous beings.

This is where “The Rule of Two” comes into play. This rule states that there must only ever be two Sith. A master (titled Dark Lord of the Sith), to exemplify and wield the power of the Dark Side, and an apprentice to covet that power. The master must train the apprentice and teach them everything they know and when the time is right the apprentice must wrench the title of Dark Lord of the Sith by killing the Master. It must be done in one on one combat as that is the only way to ensure that the Sith may one day be powerful enough to destroy the Jedi. This ensures that the Dark Side, and thus the Sith, are always getting more powerful as each new master is more powerful than the previous one and so on down the line. It also ensures that the Sith’s ways endure because if there are more than two Sith the Dark Side gets diluted, split between different people, therefore weaker. This is where people seem to go wrong in their arguments. Yes looking at the movies at face value the Jedis’ uncompromising will to remove two lads who wear massive cloaks is a bit odd, but they are by far the most powerful that the Sith have ever been. Darth Sidious (Palpatine) is by far the most powerful Sith yet because of this rule. The Rule of Two has been around for centuries and with each master and apprentice the Dark Side has gotten stronger. This is what scares (scared) Yoda and the others. So following this then we can basically agree that Darth Sidious and Vader have broken that rule effectively. Never once has Vader attempted to kill Sidious. Only when he has another force user – i.e Luke – around does he even THINK about killing his master. So yeah if you think that it makes no sense for hundreds of Jedi to be scared of two people I hope I have at least educated you enough that you realise how fucking wrong you are. Also read The Old Republic novels and comics, some of the movies’ might make sense. Not the prequels though..

Moving on swiftlllyy…

So as a result of the aforementioned points above I ended up playing Bioware’s MMMMMMORPG (the MMMM is for how good it is) Star Wars: The Old Republic. Before I continue I want to make a bold statement. Ahem.

The only good Star Wars books and comics are from The Old Republic Era.

*Mic Drop*

I made a Sith character (the race, look it up) who was a warrior specialising in the good ‘aul marauding class. I use two lightsabers that’s basically what the Marauder class is. How is the game, you ask? Well it’s an MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game) so it’s going to play like a standard MMO which is whatever. I’ve played lots of these games in the past so their specific combat mechanic and the general mechanics of the game are not new to me. I don’t play SWTOR for it’s shining mechanics. People complain about it but it’s just the nature of the game, there’s not much you can do about it or with it really. However true to their story weaving pedigree Bioware have amazing writing here. I’m absolutely entranced in finding out what’s going to happen next. I usually have my Monday article done by Friday night but it is now 11:30 pm Sunday and I *just* about managed to hurl myself away from the game to write this. I started playing Monday afternoon and after about a week I’m level 44 and 65 is the level cap. Though that is with the expansions if I am not mistaken. I love the dynamic you have with each of your companions. Each one has a specific moral alignment and using this alignment the companion will disapprove or approve of certain actions. To give you but a taste I have had a Twi’lek (google it but use safe search because of the above mentioned standard nerds) companion called Vette along with me for 80% of my playthrough now. Her alignment is a little hard to pin down if I’m honest. Some characters are just plain evil and some good but she walks a line. She hates when you kill people and when I see the text “Vette disapproves” come up, I do feel a little guilty. On the other hand if I kill someone who’s tried to double cross us she approves. I didn’t do it in self-defense. He was unarmed and I chocked the ever living life out of him and she approved. I approved of her approval!

I also recommend you try the game because you do get to choose what to say in every situation or conversation so you can always do things differently each time. However the repetitive nature of an MMO means that I am definitely done with this class once I finish the story. Might try my hand at Sith Sorcery. UNLIMITED POWER HO!

I have been absolutely devouring this game and have also spent all my time in work listening to the Darth Bane audiobooks. So all in all Star Wars Week is great success! Hope you enjoyed it and my terrible attempts at segues in this article. I’m going to go back to dropping giant containers of cargo on unsuspecting republic troops.

Can’t believe they thought I was going to let them live. Classic…