It’s prime time Euros so why are you reading this and not watching the beautiful game? Since you are here though this week we’re going to break format a little and play a game that I genuinely couldn’t find any critical reception to but I know wasn’t well received due to the two big dogs, Pro Evolution Football and Fifa Football, hammering them down for entering their domain. I am of course talking about This Is Football 2005.

 

Sadly with no Metacritic to speak off we miss some of the glowing reviews we’ve come accustomed too. To avoid letting you guys down too much I went on a search and used Amazon to pull some feedback from actual players. Sadly, as they’re all buyers of the game, only one has anything to highlight anything about This Is Football. A customer said this….

“The eyetoy is a good addition,but doesnt make up for a dissapointing overall”

…the Eyetoy? Seriously…. The EYETOY???? What the fuck is wrong with you dude. The Eyetoy was a major heap of shit!

 

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Duff: “He’s only gone and bought an Eyetoy ref!” Keane:”You can’t be serious?”

 

And with that I’m going to quickly move on about the gloriously cynical This Is Football 2005 and my 5 reasons why you should give it a try especially if you have a few friends over and want to feel nostalgic for the good old days of football. Alternatively it makes for a good quiz of who played for who in 2005.

 

1. It’s a kick right in the nostalgia

Simple stuff really. As mentioned above how much can you remember from your favourite team? Doesn’t really matter though as you get to play a full 90 minutes of football (condensed to a tidy 8 minutes of real life) controlling all the superstars from 2005. It’s actually quite startling how many players you have no memory off, I’m pretty sure I could take you through Fallout 1 or 2 blow for blow but real life people? Nah!

 

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The Belgians have JCVD!?

 

2. It introduced the hook tackle to football games.

For years before This Is Football brought in the desperately needed hook tackle, all footie games only had a shitty forward slide tackle. When side by the side with an opponent sliding and sticking your leg out in the direction you are going in is about as useful as the strikers at Aston Villa this season. In case you didn’t get that, they were useless.

 

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For the opposition this used to be a lose/lose tackle scenario

 

3. The Hack button

This infamous inclusion in the This Is Football franchise sparked anger from Fifa who were, and still are, trying to clean up the game. At a time when footballers had a bit more backbone and weren’t made of glass, the addition of a button which was deliberately intended to maim opponents was personally one of my favourites. It wasn’t the only controversial gameplay feature…

 

4. The dive button

This may be the same button as the above hack move but both of them are standout features on their own right, especially when the dive button is singlehandedly the best and a highly enjoyable ‘fuck you’ to Fifa. Oh and it’s also the most fucking fun under the sun! If ever you played football games with friends this was the move that sparked the most arguments and bellyaching laughter. God bless you, dive button.

 

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Ah ref, he totally hacked the legs of me.

 

5. You can’t buy it but… Its got pretty cool animations

I always try and reserve the fabled slot 5 to tell you how cheap the recommended title is and I wish I could for older games like This Is Football 2005 but alas I cannot. Instead I included a point about animations. I mean, yeah, they’re alright. Pretty functional and add enough to the immersion of the title. Also get used to seeing the yellow card and red card animations. Because you will see them. A ton!

 

Playtime Per Euro:

??? / 1 hour