Yes, it’s that time again where I give you my predictions for a WWE PPV, complete with a points system and this week it’s Survivor Series. It’s the PPV where The Undertaker began his career, a PPV that’s being touted as “fantasy warfare” another one of WWE’s bollocks marketing campaigns. However, I’m not here to talk shit about WWE, mostly, I’m here to once again predict how things are going to go down this Sunday.

Goldberg vs Brock Lesnar – Fantasy Warfare bollocks

I’m thinking Brock Lesnar to win this one because I don’t see Goldberg being a semi-regular showing like Brock is and Vince will probably want to continue Lesnar’s dominance over the locker room. Although you never know because Vince is a loon and a proverbial cartoon character so it could go either way but my bet’s on Lesnar.

5-on-5 Traditional Survivor Series Men’s Elimination Match

This one is a little harder to call mostly because there are superstars on both sides of the roster that could benefit from this but I see RAW being the winners because Stephanie threatened to fire them all if they lost. RAW to win it because her threat would seem insubstantial if they lost.

5-on-5 Traditional Survivor Series Women’s Elimination Match

Who does Vince value more? Nikki Bella or Charlotte Flair? That’s the ultimate decider here because from the pictures on the WWE website we can clearly see that Nikki is more valued than Becky Lynch because Nikki is the captain of the team, as indicated by being at the front of the picture and Becky, who is the bloody Women’s Champion, is behind with the rest of the Smackdown women’s team. So with those facts on the table, the question becomes who’s more valued, Nikki or Charlotte. My answer is Nikki because the Total Divas and Total Bellas TV series are really popular on E! and that’s what it mostly comes down to. Unless someone changes Vince’s mind which is unlikely. Smackdown Women to win.

10-on-10 Traditional Survivor Series Tag Team Match

What an absolute shit show this match is going to be! Looking at the team’s the fact that the New Day are the most “over” team of them all I’m going for a RAW win here. This one is a quick one because no one really cares about this match. I just hope the lads put on a great show and do themselves justice but it will ultimately be a shit show.

The Miz (C) vs Sami Zayn

This match, along with the Cruiserweight one, is the most interesting match on the card. My prediction is that Zayn wins this match because Vince wants the US title to be more than a mid-card title now that Reigns has it and if my Cruiserweight prediction is right then Zayn will win and bring the Intercontinental Championship over to RAW.

The Brian Kendrick (C) vs Kalisto

Kalisto to win and bring the Cruiserweight division to Smackdown because it’s being buried on RAW at the moment. If Kalisto wins then the IC title goes back over to RAW with Sami Zayn and the two brands both benefit more than they would if everything stays the same. Kalisto for the win.

That’s my predictions so far but don’t get your hopes up about this being anything other than a load of bollocks except for maybe the IC and Cruiserweight match because those matches actually have stakes riding on them. It would be interesting to see what would happen if one show got both the Intercontinental belt and the Cruiserweight one. Smackdown would benefit I’d say but they’d both be axed on RAW. IF you disagree with me I am on twitter or you could yell at me in the comments below and if you’re playing at home then it’s 5 points for a correct guess, shame and indignity for each incorrect guess.